Last year my family began an amazing journey. Wait, that sounds stupid and boring. Let me start over.

Recently the Navy decided to uproot my family, separate my husband, youngest daughter, and I from my older children and the rest of our family by about 1 million miles. Tad dramatic? How about this …

Ten months ago, an email from my handsome husband changed our lives and set us on adventure that has already been scary, frustrating, and exciting, and we’re still just in the planning phase. We haven’t even begun the real adventure yet!

So here’s how it all begin.

Last April my youngest daughter and I went on vacation to Florida with my husband’s family. We arrived at Orlando International Airport after a stressful 24 hours of cancelled and rebooked flights, last minute hotel reservations, and disappearing and reappearing rental car reservations. We drove straight to the Magic Kingdom to catch up with our family and see a little Disney Magic. It was late when we arrived and we didn’t have much time, but we filled out bellies with Mickey-shaped foods and watched the fireworks at the end of the night.

Then while standing in line for the monorail with about 10,000 strangers trying to get out of the park, I got an email from my husband who was deployed at the time. He’d been gone for about a month, missing our long-planned Disney adventure, and I was missing him like crazy so I drank in every single word until I came to these …

“As for the slate and orders… no orders yet but I am slated to go to the USS Frank Cable in you guessed it…Guam. As it looks right now I would detach sometime around March and travel out shortly after. I just found out so I am still processing too. Lots to think about. We can snorkel and get scuba certified.”

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I mean … I knew he was up for orders. I knew we had agreed to “Big Navy” orders hoping for a tour outside of the country, but we were both thinking maybe Europe? The good ole Navy, of course, had others plans.

Guam plans.

I stared dumbfounded at my then 11-YEAR-OLD and shouted, “Holy shit! We’re moving to Guam!”

Stellar parenting.

Immediately she began to sob, “I don’t want to move! I don’t want to leave my friends! I don’t want to leave my school! I hate this!”

This was very out-of-the-blue news for both of us, but for my kiddo who has lived in Washington state since she was 6 months old and has never PCS’d, this news (that line up there I blurted like an asshole) was devastating. I hugged her and gave the only words of reassurance I could muster in my own shocked state.

“Don’t worry! This isn’t final! The orders aren’t even written yet. This probably won’t even stick! Don’t worry! Everything is going to be FINE!!! Please don’t cry!“

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

But cry she did, and so did I. I also blurted the news to my mother-in-law whose response was something along the lines of, “No… No! No.” She probably cried a little, too.

And then for the first time in all my years being a part of their family, I got stupid drunk on some kind of boxed wine in front of my in-laws. Couldn’t even drive the rental car around the corner to the condo we were supposed to be staying in.

Stellar parenting. Stellar adulting. Just fucking stellar all around.

And that is how it began. A little rocky.

I’d love to tell you that ten months later I have wrapped my head around this move, have everything in perfect order, and I’m raring to go and live in Guam for the next three years.

And I would tell you that, but then I’d be a big fat liar.

The process of PCS’ing overseas is difficult and confusing, and that’s just the paperwork. Nevermind figuring out how to keep ties with family and friends when you are 18 hours apart or sorting everything you own into categories like “must take,” “don’t remember ever buying/using,” and “the movers will break this so I should probably just sell it now.”

And that’s how it’s going. Not well to say the least.

I really believe that my family is going to love Guam, and I am excited to share every glossy, beautiful beach moment with you. However to dispel any confusion that our military life is all beaches and paradise, in this space I will record our entire adventure … the good, the bad, and the Overseas Medical Screening (it’s sooo ugly right now!).

I look forward to sharing it with you.